insanepr

Once upon a time there was a village which was musical.One day someone
accidently burned his house. He ran to the phone and said "naree
narain". The police understood and told his boss. THe boss replied to
the police man "Faino, habbeebe faino". The man in the phone was
outraged that thepolice man didn't know where he lived. Th police men
should know every place in the village. He demanded the boss and said"
Baba Fain?" The police man gave the phone to the boss. The man was
shouting so much he didn't realize that he was getting burned. While
he was dying the boss found out his father was on the phone. He
replied " ana aktar wahed baheback." to his dead father.

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert, without finding a
source of water it gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He is
crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last
breath when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of
the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls
it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischewitz wine
bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle,
so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie - - - But this is no
ordinary genie! This genie appears to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete
with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc., "Well kid," says
the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes." "I'm not
going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish
genie!" "What have you got to lose? It looks like you're a goner
anyway!" The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and decides that
the genie is right. "Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis with
plentiful food and drink." POOF! The Arab finds himself in the most
beautiful oasis has ever seen and he is surrounded with jugs of wine
and platters of delicacies. "Okay kid, what's your second wish?" "My
second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams." POOF! The
Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems. "Okay kid, you have just one more wish.
Better make it a good one!" After thinking for a few minutes, the
Arab says,"I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will
always need and want me!!! POOF! He turned into a tampon. THE MORAL
OF THE STORY:If you do business with a Jewish genie, there's going to
be a string attached

Mrs Abdalla comes to visit her son Samir for 3 days in London where
he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl
roomate. Mrs Abdalla couldn't help but notice how pretty Samir's
roommate was. She suspects of a relationship between the two, and
this had only made her more curious. Reading his mom's thoughts,
Samir volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure
you, Vikki and I are just roommates." About a week later, Vikki
came to Samir saying,"Ever since your mother left, I've been unable
to find the silver sugarbowl. You don't suppose she took it do
you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So
he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you "did"
take the sugar bowl from my house, I'm not saying that you "did
not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever
since you left back to Beirut. Love, Samir Several days later,
Samir received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son, I'm
not saying that you "do" sleep with Vikki, and I'm not saying that
you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by
now. Love, Mom. Lesson of the day... Don't Lie to Your
Mother...especially if she is Lebanese.

I have one
You have one
Your mother uses your father's one
And your auntie uses your uncle's one
A married lady would acquire one
But a divorced lady would lose her one
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one
Madonna doesn't have one
The Chinese usually have short ones
While the Indian usually have long ones
Do you have one?
How long is your one?
Which one is your preferred one?
Answer : its your Surname, what else !!
but I like the way you think .........

Dear Husband:
>>>
>>>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
>>>I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These
last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
>>> you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>>>Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
>>>You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the
game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
>>> anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is,
I'm gone.
>>>
>>>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
>>>Your EX-Wife
>>>
>>>Dear Ex-Wife
>>>
>>>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have
been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry
>>> from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant
nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all
>>> of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a
man!" My mother raised meto not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
>>> When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on
>>>you when had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that
it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars
>>> from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved
you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the
>>> lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But
when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I
>>> hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
>>>
>>>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>>>
>>> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Something to ponde about!!!

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?....... (weird)
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? ......... (to be given a thought)
3.What is the speed of darkness? .......(absurd)
4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? ...... (very good thinking)
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? ...... (who knows)
6.Can you cry under water? ........ (let me try)
7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? ...... (i think they meant something else)
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?......... (God knows)
9.Do fish ever get thirsty? ...........(let me ask and tell)
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? .......... (by ones eyes)
11.What does OK actually mean? ......... (olli kuchi)
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? .............. (tonight i will stay and watch)
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? ............ (seed)
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? .............. (No comments)
15.What should one call a male ladybird? ......... (No comments)
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? .......... (can somebody help )
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? ......... (yes u can)
18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? ......... (strange isnt it)
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? ..............(got to think scientifically)
20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? ............ (i dont have a change to try)
21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? ............... (very nice)
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?.............. (this is nice)
23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? ...........(stupid, break the law....)

Sometimes I wonder why I fell in love with you in the first place, and
continue to love you after all the pain. And then you smile at me, and
I realize why; without you, I can't breath."

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says:'I need you because
I love you.'"

"True love is not about the hugs and kisses, the 'I love you's' or the
'I miss you's', but about the chills that hit every part of your spine
when you think about her."

I love you not because of anything you have, but because of something
that I feel when I'm near you."

"Trust is what makes everyone realize that you are always there for
them. Faith is what makes everyone realize that you are always there
to help them in case they need some help. Love makes not everyone, but
the only one in your life who is special, think that you are always
there for her, to be with her, to cherish her, to fulfill her dreams,
to share with her and most of all, to make her realize how much you
really love her.

"The time we spend apart will make our love grow stronger, but it
hurts so bad, I can't take it any longer. I wanna grow old with you, I
wanna die lying in your arms, I wanna grow old with you, I want be
looking in your eyes, I wanna be there for you, sharing in everything
you do ... I wanna grow old with you."

"True love is when the only thing that makes you cry is seeing the one
you care about unhappy."

"Love comes from the heart, but true love comes from the mind and soul

"It took me a long time finding you. You're someone I want to be with
even after death. And if I found myself in heaven not holdin' your
hand, I'd go searchin' for you all over again...."

"When the love you have is true, you'll know it: just seeing that
person will stop your heart and world for one second, but it will
endure for a lifetime."

"You know it's true love when no matter how far the distance is he can
still make you smile."

"Love doesn't need a quote or a saying. If you love someone enough
there aren't any words to describe it or explain it, you just know...
in the depths of your soul."

"True Love is like a spider and its web; no matter how many times the
web is destroyed, or how hard it may seem to rebuild it, and when it
seems as if all hope is lost... the spider will work hard to the
restore the broken pieces."

"When your heart begins to desire another person's happiness,this
isn't some trifling amusement; this is true love."

Love is when two hearts become one. True love is when two souls
become one."

"Distance, it is a test of love, many will fail, but for those who
can withstand it have the answer: true love."

"True love is knowing a person's faults, and loving them even more for
them."

"Love endures not for a time or season. True love simply loves and
knows not the reason."

"True love is being able to look into the other's eyes, and see
yourself."

True love, like many things, can only be seen in the eyes of the
beholder. It cannot be jealous, proud, or anxious; it is what is found
in the depths of your heart, and longs only for one who's heart longs
for the same things as your own."

PpL R gUnA tALk BoUt u SpEcIaLlY wHeN tHeY eNvY u N tHe LiFe U LiVe...lEt ThEm..U
aFfEcTeD tHeIr LiVeS,tHeY dIdNt AfFeCt UrS..

Be MorE ConcerneD AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN BecausE uR CharacteR Is WhO U
ArE AnD Ur ReputaioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of U!

keep the pictures they neva change only the people in them do

True love are like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.

I looked him in the eye,looked down at his lips, moved closer to him and gave him a kiss.

Should I smile, Cuz ur my friend, Or cry..Cuz that's all we'll ever be?

DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS U REALLY MEAN IT, CUZ I MIGHT DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BELIEVE
IT

When I first saw you I was afarid to talk to you*When i first talked to you I was afraid to
like you*When i first liked you i was afarid to love you*Now that I love you I m afraid to
lose you

Last night I looked up at the stars, And matched each one with a reason why I love you, I
was doing great, but then I ran out of stars.

If I could be anything I would be your tear, so I could be born in your eye, live down
your cheek and die on your lips

If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever.. If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer
is Never..If Yur askin what I value the Answer is U.. if Yur askin if I love U the answer
is I do

You know your in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye.

The first time I saw you, I knew it was true~That I'd love you forever and that's what I'll
do~
You don't know what you do to me~You don't have a clue~You don't know what it's like to be
me lookin @ you!!

Being with U is like fallin through a deep dark hole, but in that hole i find something
special.. a treasure to behold

whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

I look at her as a friend, then i realized i loved her

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

Love begins with a smile,grows with a kissand ends with a tear.

*A girl asked a guy if she was pretty, he said no. She asked him if he wanted her, he said
no. She asked him if she left would he cry, he said no. She turned to leave, he grabbed
her arm and said..you're not pretty; you're beautiful. And I don't want you; I need you.
And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die*

I sit in the park where I dwell
For this boy I love so well
He took my heart away from me
Now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
He says things to her he never said to me
I ran home to cry on my bed
Not a word to mother was said
Father came home late that night
He looked at me from left to right
He saw me hanging from a rope
He took his knife to cut me down
And on my dress a note was found:
Dig my grave Dig it deep
Dig my grave From head to feet
And on the top place a dove
And remember this, I died for love….

I hate the way you look at me.
And the way you act so weird.
I hate the way you have no clue.
I hate it when you're far, not near.
I hate your stupid everything.
And the way you have no fears.
I hate you so much it makes me sick-
It even makes some tears.
I hate the way I talk to you.
I hate it when you're mad.
I hate it when you make me happy.
Even worse when you make me mad
I hate it that you're just my friend.
And the fact that you don't care.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit.
It's just not fair.

Ten things I hate about You:
I hate it when u talk to me and the way u cut ure hair
I hate it when u stare
I hate ure big bad combat boots and the way u read my mind
I hate u so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme
I hate it when ure always rite
I hate it when u lie
I hate it when u make me laugh and even worse when u make me cry
I hate it when ure not around and the fact that u didn't call
But most of all I hate how I don't hate u,
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

**Hurting you** I know you hurt inside I know you love me I know i cant take things back
We should have never gone out We ruined a good freindship But time is passing things are
healing You'll be all rite We'll be friends again But then again Your still crying over me
I hear your voice in the nite LIke a harsh winter storm So now what can I do I need to
make it rite But I know I cant love you back Not that way Im sorry

Keeping yourself locked inside, Only let out in the dark corners of the night. Kick youself
for showing that one tear, beat yourself like no one is here. Hurting pain can teach you a
leasson, don't show that tear by any question. You are happy, U are smiling, U are
everyones notion, U are the angry child with no emotion. Don't twist don't pull jsut crack
that smile, keep it on, show everyone for a while. Then in the dark corners of the night
you can beat, you can scream Don't cry its alright.

Piczo